


wide awake

by Noa



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Cute, Hitachiincest, Incest, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Twincest, happy birthday kathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 07:25:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2420099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noa/pseuds/Noa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Hikaru dreams of Kaoru.</p><p>Two times he's asleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	wide awake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [garbagecollector](https://archiveofourown.org/users/garbagecollector/gifts).



> Happy Birthday!!
> 
> Wishing you happiness and health for many more years to come u3u/

The first time Hikaru dreamt of Kaoru, they slept in separate beds.

Rather, separate sleeping bags.

The club had gone ‘camping’, a strange commoner activity that involved covering yourself with several layers of fleece and eating canned food. The day itself hadn’t even been that bad. Being out in nature was surprisingly fun, and not having their usual luxuries within reach provided an adventurous vibe that really resonated with the twins. Before the club had even set up the first tent, Hikaru was already halfway up a nearby tree. It took three acorns aimed carefully at the back of Kaoru’s head, before Kaoru figured out where Hikaru had gone. It’d been ages since they climbed trees and Hikaru had actually struggled, but Kaoru followed him up there with dexterity that made it seem like he’d been climbing trees forever. When Kaoru found himself stuck one branch below Hikaru, Hikaru shifted, his high-end sneakers cracking against the dry bark of the tree, and reached down. Kaoru grabbed his arm, and Hikaru pulled him up onto his branch.

They took a moment to gloat, take a few selfies, and bitch about the other’s climbing skills. Then they settled, finding a balance with Hikaru leaning against the trunk, and Kaoru leaning against Hikaru, who had an arm wrapped around his waist (for safety).

“The view’s nice,” Kaoru said.

“Yeah,” Hikaru replied. He glanced to the side, and saw Kaoru staring ahead with a contagious calm in his eyes. It really was nice up here. Quiet. No one they had to entertain, and no one who could bother them. It wasn’t too comfortable, but that couldn’t take away from Hikaru’s appreciation. If he’d known climbing trees was this much fun, he would’ve done it more. (He tried it a few times when he was younger, but the maids always chased him down with shrieks of “Don’t ruin your nice clothes!” That was a cool game in and of itself, but it wasn’t anything like this.)

From below, they could hear Tamaki call out for them. Apparently, their lord was concerned that the tigers got to them, and now Haruhi was trying to explain that there weren’t any tigers around these parts. But what about bears? No, no bears either.

The twins looked at each other and grinned. Moments later, Tamaki found himself pelted with acorns, until he tried getting up their tree too, and Mori had to step in to keep Tamaki from breaking both legs. This ended the twin’s game: hitting Tamaki was one thing, but hitting Mori was a danger neither Hitachiin was ready to face.

That night, Hikaru was so exhausted that the cold ground felt comfortable against his back. He rolled himself up into his sleeping bag, and as soon as the lights inside their small tent were out, Hikaru drifted off to sleep.

In his dreams he climbed trees, taller than any tree he’d seen in his life. He climbed past his school, past the city’s skyscrapers, past clouds that felt like powdered ice on his skin- he could see Earth, he could see other planets, he could see universes expanding and stars burning out.

He could see Kaoru, one branch above him.

Kaoru had leaves in his hair, and stardust scattered like a halo around his head. Hikaru tried to climb to him, but he couldn’t reach high enough. He called his name, and Kaoru glanced down. The stars in his eyes blew Hikaru away, and he swayed, almost losing balance until a familiar hand took hold of his.

Kaoru pulled, and Hikaru became weightless, floating up to the very top of the tree where Kaoru had been standing. He held his hand tightly, afraid of falling, afraid of seeing his brother fall instead. Kaoru seemed to notice Hikaru’s uneasiness, and brushed his thumb along Hikaru’s knuckles.

“The view’s nice,” Kaoru said, but all Hikaru could look at was the abyss below them. Every time he turned his gaze from Kaoru to the tree, another branch faded below his feet.

“Kaoru, this is bad, we should go,” Hikaru muttered. If this kept up, they’d lose their route back to the ground.

“It’s fine,” Kaoru said. “Just don’t look down.”

“But the tree, Kaoru, we’ll fall!”

Kaoru’s shoulders sagged, and he sighed like Hikaru had said something silly, but his eyes were reassuring and sweet. He turned towards him, and gently cupped Hikaru’s cheek.

“You really are stupid,” he said, and Hikaru was about to ask him what he meant when Kaoru closed the space between their faces, and kissed his lips. Hikaru’s eyes blew wide, and before he could wrap his head around what was happening, the final branch of the tree dissipated into thin air. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing to plummet to his death—

And jolted awake clutching Kaoru’s hand.

Hikaru blinked a few times, his eyes adjusting to the darkness around him. He looked down at Kaoru, sleeping peacefully at his side in a sleeping bag of his own. Fortunately, Hikaru’s death grip didn’t seem to have woken him up. Hikaru let out a breath of relief. He’s had some strange dreams in his life, but this one was something else. His brow furrowed as he thought through it, the memory already fading from his mind. There were trees, and stars.

And Kaoru.

A faint blush crept up on Hikaru’s cheeks when he recalled what had happened in his dream. He quickly looked at Kaoru, feeling caught, but Kaoru was still fast asleep. Hikaru watched him. He was tucked inside his sleeping bag, a mess of strawberry blond hair framing his face, and if Hikaru paid attention, he could hear Kaoru’s soft, steady breathing. Hikaru shook his head, hoping to get rid of the lingering memory of Kaoru’s lips. It was just a dream.

And yet.

That dream had set things in motion, oiled up gears that had been rusty and still. It had Hikaru thinking of things he couldn’t place, and it wouldn’t leave him alone.

The second time Hikaru dreamt of Kaoru, they slept in the same bed.

That wasn’t anything new, though the comfort of their king-sized bed was more than welcome after a week of sleeping on uneven ground in a badly isolated tent.

Hikaru was already buried under several layers of blankets when Kaoru slipped in bed with him, fresh from a long, hot bath. His hair was still a little damp, and his skin smelled of jasmine. Probably a new soap brand, because Hikaru didn’t recognize the scent, but he liked it.

Kaoru made a content noise as he nestled into the soft sheets, his eyes closed and his body curled towards Hikaru, who had to tear his gaze away. He stared at the ceiling instead, trying not to think of how his hand was touching Kaoru’s, and how he could feel the warm glow of Kaoru’s body seeping into his bones. He’s shared a bed with his twin ever since he can remember sleeping at all, but.

It never felt like this before.

He’s never felt such a strong urge to get closer. It was magnetic. Hikaru was hyperaware of Kaoru’s presence at his side, and he wanted to touch him, hold him like he used to back when Kaoru still had nightmares every night.

His dream came back to him, flashes of stars and Kaoru’s mouth on his own, and a rush of butterflies made Hikaru’s heartbeat skip. He tried to push the thoughts out, replace them with others, but the more he forced himself to forget that dream, the more it occupied his mind. The inner battle was exhausting, and somewhere in between trying to think of his favorite videogame and considering to hold Kaoru’s hand, Hikaru fell asleep.

They were… swimming? The water was so clear that it was hard to tell if he was swimming, or flying. Kaoru swam ahead of him, the water on his skin catching the sun’s light. He looked gorgeous, his body lithe and his movements so fluid that the sea around him stayed undisturbed. Hikaru followed him through the waves, but the closer he got, the colder the water became. At first it was just cool, but it quickly turned icy, and Hikaru trembled, his teeth clattering and his fingernails slowly coloring blue.

Hikaru yelled at Kaoru to stop swimming ahead. They’d both freeze to death like this, but when Kaoru turned around he showed no sign of being cold. When he noticed Hikaru was shaking, he swam back towards him, and pulled him into an embrace. It wasn’t anything like their usual hugs, or even their host club hugs- this was close in a different way, intimate. Their bodies fit against each other like they were made to touch, and Hikaru clung to Kaoru as he thawed out.

Then, Kaoru kissed Hikaru’s temple. Hikaru pulled back a little, and looked at his twin. Droplets slid from Kaoru’s hair down his cheek, his jaw, his throat, painting invitations down his skin. Before Hikaru realized what he was doing, he had already leaned in, but he stopped himself, stilling a breath before his lips touched Kaoru’s.

He was expecting this to feel wrong, that kissing his twin would make him uncomfortable somehow, but it didn’t. Everything felt right, perfect even, and it caught Hikaru off-guard. Was there something wrong with him? Wasn’t he supposed to feel resistance, or guilt at least?

“What’s wrong?” Kaoru asked.

Hikaru looked up at him, unable to answer his question. He didn’t know what was wrong, but something had to be. It shouldn’t be this easy, this natural. It couldn’t be. If he didn’t stop now, he’d surely do something he’d regret. It was safer to stay still, to stay right where he was, right where they were, and leave it at that. That’s how it’s always been. That he could trust, more than he could trust himself.

“I just,” Hikaru whispered. “I don’t want things to change.”

Kaoru smiled, and brushed Hikaru’s fringe from his eyes with wet fingers. Drops slid down his face, and Kaoru kissed them, one by one. He pulled back slowly, looking up at Hikaru with a warm gaze, and Hikaru felt like his heart might burst.

“You really are stupid,” Kaoru said softly. The water around them turned to sand.

“Wh-”

Hikaru woke up curled around his sleeping brother. Their legs were tangled, and their foreheads were touching. Hikaru startled, and he was about to jerk away, until he felt Kaoru’s hand in his own. He looked down between them, eyes adjusting to the darkness of the room, and saw that their fingers were intertwined, Kaoru holding his hand as much as Hikaru was holding his.

Hikaru felt short for breath. Was Kaoru awake? Did he say anything in his sleep that Kaoru might’ve heard? Hikaru listened carefully, but Kaoru’s breathing stayed quiet, and the rise and fall of his frame stayed even. He was asleep, and Hikaru knew he should probably pull back, but.

It felt just like it did in his dream. Comfortable, intimate. He could stay like this just a little bit longer, and then move away. Kaoru was asleep anyway, so he wouldn’t mind. Hell, moving away might even wake Kaoru up. Having convinced himself of this, Hikaru relaxed, and allowed his eyes to slip shut again. He’d turn around later. Just a minute or two.

When Hikaru next opened his eyes, Kaoru was staring back at him. The clock read ten in the morning, and they were still holding hands.

The third time Hikaru dreamt of Kaoru, there weren’t any trees.

There wasn’t any water, no sand, no stars. It was just them, honest, real. Not working for the club, not playing any games.

And without Kaoru saying anything, Hikaru realized that he really was stupid.

For not noticing the way Kaoru looked at him. For not noticing he looked back in the same way. Really, really stupid, for thinking all he felt was familial affection, for thinking he cared just because Kaoru was his brother. For being afraid to fall, even though he already had. For being afraid things between them would change, even though they already had. For not wanting to fall in love, when he already was.

For being so late to realize that the third time Hikaru dreamt of Kaoru-

He wasn’t dreaming at all.

_fin_


End file.
